The 'Cullen' way of life
by x-Scarlett-x
Summary: Bella was going to wish Jasper had taken Edward to a strip club for his Bachelor party. ONESHOT What Edward really did on the night before his wedding CULLENCEST Edward/Jasper Edward/Emmett Set during Breaking Dawn.
1. Chapter 1

Okay so this is Bachelor parties, Cullen style. And of course a strip club is _far_ too mundane for the Cullens!

Disclaimer: If I owned it Bella wouldn't even enter the plot line!

Warnings; BOY X BOY M rated content! INCEST!!! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!!!

REVIEW!!! I want to know what you think people!

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Jasper grabbed Edwards white shirt and threw him against the nearest tree, ripping it off in the process.

With his back to Edward he smiled, before turning round to face the Vampire who was panting, his back arched against the bark of a tree. Jasper dropped into a crouch and bared his teeth before sprinting over to Edward, a blur against the green background.

Jasper lent in to Edwards ear. "I'm going to give you something to think about when you're stood at the alter tomorrow now _Eddy_"

He kissed Edwards neck, biting and sucking and the pale skin, his teeth grazing over Edwards's collarbone.

"Jazz…"

"Was there something you wanted?"

Edward writhed as Jasper kept biting and sucking at his neck.

"Y-you" Murmured Edward, lost to the sensations he was feeling.

"Beg" Jasper whispered into his ear, gently tugging on his ear lobe.

"Edward, I want to hear you beg for it."

"Please Jazz, I want you more than anything"

"The night before your wedding and you are begging for me to push you up against that tree and screw you. My, my Edward what would your fiancée say?" Smirked Jasper.

"Jasper, I need you now."

Jasper took in the beautiful sight before him, of Edward's Adonis like figure squirming under his touch, his bare chest standing out, perfectly white against the dark surroundings. Then he pounced, tearing off the remainder of Edwards's clothes, and his own pushing Edward against the tree so hard it started to snap. The two boys were locked in an embrace, kissing and touching anything their hands could reach.

Jasper picked up Edwards slightly smaller frame, and wrapped his toned legs around his own waist.

"Jazz.." Edward moaned as Jasper sped up the pace. The tree cracking under the pressure of their combined weight.

"God Edward you—"

Jaspers words were lost as they both came, gasping and shaking they collapsed in each others arms.

They lay entwined for what could have been hours. Jasper holding onto Edward as he lay in the blonde boys arms, sighing contentedly.

"We should go" said Jasper eventually "Alice and Em will wonder where we have gone."

"You know that Alice knows full well were you are" Smirked Edward.

"Yes she does, but Bella doesn't!"

Edward remembered Bella's question earlier that day_. "Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club are you?" _

Edward didn't enjoy lying to Bella, but she just wouldn't understand. His musing were interrupted by Jasper.

"So have you enjoyed your Bachelor Party?" Jasper murmured

"Most definitely, I can't think of any other way to better spend my last night of freedom."

"You do know this" Jasper gestured to his and Edwards entwined bodies "Isn't going to stop, just because you are getting married."

"I know, I wouldn't want it to."

Emmett sprinted into the clearing at that moment.

"Did I mis—Awwww you guys already started! And you two look so damn cute like that!"

Emmett threw himself down next to Edward.

"We were just talking about what happens after our little Eddy gets married" laughed Jasper

" Fresh meat in the Cullen house of course!" laughed Jasper

"Bella is _not _'fresh meat' Em!"

"What are you going to do then Ed? Keep her all to yourself! Brothers share man, and hell would I like to share in that you really pulled there bro!"

"No I'm just well, I don't know what I'm going to do but DON'T just turn up at our bedroom door the day she turns and expect her to jump into bed with you!" Edward fumed

"Not even if she wants to?"

"No!!…Well maybe, But it's not going to happen is it Emmett???"

"Ummm no?" Emmett gave one of his cutest smiles. And Edward leant in and captured his lips.

Jasper had stayed silent throughout this exchange, thinking about how Bella would cope with the Cullen… 'way of life'

"Edward, how _are_ you going to tell Bella?"

Edward broke away from his kiss with Emmett.

" I think I'm going to show her, and you just volunteered Jazz" Smiled Edward.

Yes Jasper thought, Bella would have probably preferred it if Edward had gone to a strip club.

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Now review!! Or Edward will be forver doomed to be with Bella!!!!


	2. AN!

AN/ Okay so I am going to make this a two shot, I started writing the next part and want to submit it! Also thank you for all the reviews, and I do know the whole thing was a biiit quick but I must confess I didn't have my full attention on it and was just one of my muses. And now to my rant!

Rant starts here…// To the intelligent person who kindly took it upon themselves to inform me that Edward isn't gay…. Thank you SO much!!! You have really cleared that one up for me! I had no idea, and was under the impression that Bella was in fact a man, and that all four books were just one big orgy of incest and gay sex! I am so greatful! It's called a SLASHfic for a reason BECAUSE BOYS DO NAUGHTY THINGS TO EACH OTHER IN IT! Dear lord If you don't want to read it…don't!!!! Also at least sign your review then I can tell you all this!!!

Anyway new chapter will hopefully be up soooon! Thank you!!!!

x-Scarlett-x


	3. Chapter 2

Okaay second chapter, I wanted It to be a oneshot, but Emmett wanted some action! And I couldn't say no!!

Also to make it VERY clear THERE IS GAY SEX IN THIS, MEN WITH MEN!!! If you don't like it, DON'T READ IT!!!

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"Edward… " Bella said as she sat down on chaise lounge next to Edward. He put the book he was reading down, and placed his arm round Bella.

"What's wrong?" Edward murmured as he kissed away her neck. Although Edward already had a pretty good idea from the thoughts he heard before.

"I…I slept with Emmett it didn't mean anything an—"

"I know, it can sort of…happen in our family, eight vampires with insatiable sexual appetites, results in a bit of…changing partners. It's why vampires tend to travel in small groups. But Emmett is going to be insufferable now! "

"Why..oh they didn't"

"Yes I am afraid to say the immaturity of my brothers has reached new heights. They had a bet on who would bed you first. And Emmett just won."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The problem with girls. Emmett thought, was that they never swallowed, I mean Rosalie would rather shave her hair off than swallow, hell she would even get on her knees for him anymore…not that she ever had. Alice would, she did but she was into the kinky kind of shit, like chains and whips. Jasper may be willing to tie her up and whip her but Emmett was always scared that he would hurt her because of how damn small she was compared to him. No, guys were definitely so much better. Even Bella was, disappointing. After the initial 'Hell yeah I'm banging Bella, Edward would so cry like a girl if he could see this.' It got kinda dull, Em found himself longing for Jasper, or Edward to sink into. Not to mention the shit he had to do to get her to sleep with him! It took him half an hour just to convince her, way too much hassle. So Emmett was now wandering down to Jasper's room. Alice was with Renesmee and Rosalie, and Edward was with Bella. So he went to remind Jasper that he now owed him his new dirt bike.

Emmett went into Jaspers room to find it totally dark, jasper was lying on the bed that Alice had bought, eyes closed. He obviously wasn't asleep, but for some unknown reason Jasper liked to try and sleep.

"Jazz…" no response,

"Jasper"

"Jasper! Man you owe me your bike, and I'm bored!"

Jasper was still lying there determinedly ignoring Emmett. Emmett pulled the sheets of his covers down, and began trying to pull down the linen pants Jasper was wearing, when they were at his knees he finally responded.

"Dude you do know what you are currently doing is practically statutory rape" Groaned Jasper

"Yeah but I _know_ you want it!"

"We might be vampires Em, but at 6 am I do not 'want it'"

" Aww Jazz you _always _want me! And you weren't even asleep! So it shouldn't matter what time it is!"

By this point Emmett had managed to pull Jaspers pants totally off, and there was only one button left on his shirt, which was now lying on the bedroom floor.

"Jazz" Emmett wheedled as he scooped up Jasper and unceremoniously dumped him on the floor with his shirt. He unzipped his own pants and Jasper finally admitting defeat helped him pull them down.

"Emmett you are.."

"Sexy, hot, irresistible?"

"Insatiable!"

"Yeah, but you know you like to try!"

"True" Smirked Jasper.

He took Emmett's semi-hard cock and licked the underside of it, causing Emmett to shudder and close his eyes. While he entwined his had in Jaspers blonde hair.

Jasper sucked on the head, and smirked when Emmett, always impatient started thrusting into his mouth. But Jasper pressed his hips against the wall. Stopping him from thrusting anymore. As he teased him, licking and sucking but never just taking it all into his mouth. Emmett who had apparently had enough, and being stronger than Jasper thrust into his mouth. Jasper who was thankful of not having a gag reflex anymore, took Emmett's huge dick, bracing himself on Emmett's toned ass, as Emmett came into his mouth. Jasper swallowed. And licked Emmett clean. Emmett pulled Jazz up and threw him on the bed before Jasper had finished. Pulling him up against him and running his hands through his hair.

"God Jazz that was awesome. Guys are so much better than girls."

"I know" smirked Jasper.

"How did Eddie take it when he found out about you and Bella?" Laughed Jasper

"Haven't spoken to him, but I think we are about to find out…"

Edward threw open the door before Jasper could even finish his sentence.

"Emmett, I told you NOT to just jump Bella whenever you wanted, she feels so guilty now!" Fumed Edward as he stormed into the room and sat down on the bed.

"And why are you both naked?! My god can't either of you keep it in your pants for two seconds!!

"Aww Bro don't be like that, she was begging for it, and you know how much I wanted Jazz's new dirt bike!"

"Don't even get me started on the bet" Snarled Edward as he pushed away Jaspers arms that were snaking around his waist.

"Ohh Em leave him alone Eddy is all upset!" Mocked Jasper

"Woah dude lets get the violins out" laughed Emmett.

"You two are such assholes!"

"We are your big brothers, we are meant to gang up on our nubile younger brother and coerce him into unwilling, but not unwanted sex with us!" said Jasper innocently as he lifted Edwards T-shirt up above his head.

"Yeah and anyway, we know you are gagging for it dude." Emmett explained as he started undoing Edwards fly

"I am _not_ 'gagging for it' when you are still thinking about screwing my wife!! Do the vows of Holy matrimony mean nothing to you!"

"Gotta say no on that point unfortunately, not that it was worth it!" Laughed Emmett

"And what do you mean, she wasn't good?!" exclaimed Edward pulling away from his brothers.

"Sorry man but guys are better lays! Jazz is better than any girl I have ever shagged, and that is saying something!"

"What about me!"

"Well you are sort of the whipping boy!" Smirked Emmett.

"I am not the—"

Edward stopped mid sentence as he succumbed to Jaspers kisses on his neck.

"I know mm what you are doing Jazz…and It's not going to….work"

"Oh but my little Eddy it already is working" Laughed Jasper

"Ahh Jazz who knew your talent could come in so handy." Smiled Emmett licking his way down Edwards's chest.

"Yeah well we need it when subduing our little whipping boy" Winked Jasper.

Jasper pushed Edward down on the bed, and snapped handcuffs round his wrists and onto the bedposts.

"Guys why the handcuffs?!"

"Adds a bit of kink, and it means you can't run away" Winked Emmett.

"I..could if ohh I wanted umm to…You know that…this could be mmm… illegal and…using your ohhh… vampire powers to mmm seduce me is…very, very god Jazz..umm wrong"

"Yeah man it sounds like he hates it, maybe we should lay off!" Mocked Emmett as he removed his hands from Edwards's crotch

"No..don't stop"

"SCORE!!" shouted Jasper, jumping up from where he was licking Edwards chest.

"Emmett, I'm waiting for the new Harley you now owe me!" said Jasper smugly

"Maaaan! He didn't even cum yet!" sulked Emmett

"Yeah but, he is loving it, and you said he wouldn't even get in the bed!"

"Sorry" snapped Edward, his lust filled stupor ending suddenly as he realised exactly what has happening. "You guys bet on me! Jeez!!! You have a problem!" Edward started trying to get up off the bed, before Emmett promptly threw him back down again.

"Did we say you could move?"

"I don't think we did Em" Jasper smirked as he tightened Edwards handcuffs.

They both pounced again, taking up their previous positions sucking and licking at Edwards neck and thighs. They paused when they heard a slight cough at the door, and they all turned their heads to look at the door. Where Alice was stood, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Sorry to errm…interrupt boys, but Bella and I are going out, and Jake is looking after Renesme, just thought you'd want to know. Anyway do carry on." She comment as she turned to walk away.

"Oh and Edward, you are going to love what happens next" Smirked Alice.

Edward jumped up, ripping the bed apart. "Ohh HELL no, you are NOT doing that to me, the rest of the stuff I can deal with, but Emm if you think I can bend that way, even if I am a vampire!!" Shouted Edward sprinting towards the door.

Alice re-appeared as Edward reached the door. "I told you he would never do that Jazz" She said as she bounded up to Jasper and kissed him as he circled his arm round her waist.

"How did you know? Oh do you all have bets on how far you can push your whipping boy?!"

"Did you even need to ask?" Laughed Emmett.

"I am leaving with Bella, and if we don't come back for a few days….don't be surprised!" Stormed Edward.

When the three Vampires heard Edwards Volvo pull out of the garage, Emmett reached to check his Rolex, but before he could get there Alice stopped his hand.

"It's 7:30 am. Which is exactly 59 minutes after you started this little tryst, which means that I win the Harley, the Quad and a new Aston Martin" Smiled Alice.

" I said he would run squealing like a girl!" Pouted Emmett

"Correction dude, you said it would take hours before he cracked, and as Alice pointed out, it's only 59 minutes" explained Jasper

"Man you two are first class assholes when you wanna be!" exclaimed Emmett

"Yep" laughed Alice

"Want to make a bet on when he will come back?" Asked Jasper

"Hell yes!"

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Okaaay more of the twisted stuff that goes down in the Cullen household! Hope you liked it!! Review my lovely readers!!

x-Scarlett-x


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